7 Questions Every Angeleno Gets Asked

1. Where do you live?

Yeah, this does sound like a stupid question but locals of Los Angeles know the importance of this one little query. If you're new to town, make sure you're specific. It could result in determining your future ex-spouse. For example, if you live in Venice and they live in Studio City then you best be in true love, because no one enjoys the 405 at rush hour even if there is sex at the end!

2. Where are you from?

Meeting a born and raised Angeleno is rare unless you also live in the sprawling county. It took me six months to meet a non-transplant. However, this question also has some bizarre undertones. It can help you decide the politics of the person you're asking. It can also let you figure out how much you might have in common from your childhoods. Being raised in rural Pennsylvania in a huge property versus the suburbs of Detroit, or even further afield, could lead to some pretty interesting conversation.

3. What do you do?

Yet again, this is such a benign question to the unknowing non-local. In a city based on entertainment, with every bimbo looking to bang their way to the top, this question often comes before all else. However, it is not to be taken as an investigatory assault on your character. It is a beneficial tool for both of you involved in the conversation. Networking, relationships, friendships, and common connections are all divulged from this one little question.

4. What's your star sign?

Even the atheists of Los Angeles have been converted to this line of questioning. Though it may or may not have any impact on one's personality, you'll be freaked out by how many patterns arise from your acquaintances that share the same sign. If you're a Scorpio, you're built for others of your kind, Pisces and Sagittarius. However, you should avoid Leos at all cost! You'll clash like the titans and destroy everyone in your wake.  

5. Are you vegan?

Only joking! They'd have already told you...

6. Do any celebrities live near you?

This is a relative question. You could say YES, I live by this producer or that professional surfer, or you could say NO. Some of these people aren't actually celebrities, they're just individuals that are highly successful at their jobs. Other may just have a lot of Instagram followers!

7. Is it anything like it is on television?

No. It's EXACTLY what it's like on television! Even into the intricate personal weaving that you might think only existed on The OC or 90210, every part of Los Angeles is exactly what it's like on television. If you're a Hank Moody, then head over to the westside and enjoy all of the wonders that the beach has to offer. If you're more of a party girl then head to West Hollywood and and Beverly Hills. No matter where you are, the craziness of California will follow. We can promise you that!